The Lunatic, The Lover, and the Poet

Apr 25
Apr 22

tooquirkytolose:

tooquirkytolose:

Made this in an exercise of ‘Actually start something and then finish it, God dammit’.

reblogging for the 15 people who followed me based solely on this

Apr 20

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Apr 20

herbackrowkings:

lalondes:

>teenage actress’s private nudes get leaked

>teenage actress is reviled as a slut and a whore and a bad role model

>james franco asks a seventeen-year-old girl if he can meet her in a private hotel room

>james franco gets to go on saturday night live and joke about what a silly doofus he is for soliciting sex from a girl literally half his age

DO NOT DARE OVERLOOK THIS POST

>James Franco reveals it was a publicity stunt for his movie Palo alto which is about an illegal relationship between a teacher and his student.

Apr 19

Replace the vowels in your URL with “oodle”

allthefuckingstuff:

joanthedeductionist:

princess-neville:

cumaeansibyl:

nehirose:

dirt-roads:

jeshala:

I am still in love with joodleshoodleloodle.

doodlert roodleoodles

noodlehoodleroodlesoodle

oh dear I think I have to do this

coodlemoodleoodleoodlensoodlebyl

proodlencoodless-noodlevoodlelloodle

joodlenthoodledoodleoodlectoodlenoodleist

Oodlellthoodlefoodleckoodlengstoodleff

Oodlehoodlevoodlenoodleshoodleoodleld

Apr 14

im-thirstyy:

shinnomew:

my-littletony:

vixen7:

I’m crying.

ITS BACK

"You’re the worst friend ever" in a monotone voice
I’m very happy

this video keeps me going

Apr 14

Reblog this if you’re online and follow back!

Apr 13

zirastiel:

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

Apr 11

I hate my friends

noo-interruption:

lokis-army-at-221b:

wingsofjusice:

youknowwhat-kissme-cas:

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

image

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

imageimage

Cry

but what did your driving instructor say

WHAT DID HE SAY

THIS IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER

152,000 people want to know what your teacher responded.

Apr 10
Sun’s out guns out ;)

Sun’s out guns out ;)